When I was a little girl I used to watch my mother clean the house. She took her time to clean everything slowly. She would always ask me to polish all of her glass figurines and place them neatly one by one back in the china cabinet. While she cleaned the house I would hear her talking to someone who wasn't there and she would cry. She would cry and respond to this disembodied voice as she cleaned the house in a meditative state. It was as if she was in some sort of trance, but was still present with me. Concerned, I would ask her, "Mommy, why are you crying?", she would always say I am talking to God and the Spirits. I never questioned it but I would wrap my arms around her waist and squeeze her tight then go back to my job of cleaning the glass figurine collection.
I always happened to be present when my mother had to cry. I learned the difference between tears of pain and joy very quickly. I would soothe my mother when she cried tears of pain. I made her tea "potion" that she always made for me when I was sick and I would lay next to her. I always placed my energy near my mother when she was this way. Her heartbreak ran deep and I was the only one there to support her through that. It was my honor to hold her and be there for her. I held her while she released the good cry and once she let it out she always said, "Okay, now time to move on. We had the good cry, we learned from it, now we focus on the good things we have going on. There is no time to sit and be sad. We have a lot to be grateful for." I always held on to that. Because no matter how hard life has gotten I was grateful. I am grateful for the experiences that make me the best soul I can be in this incarnation. I haved moved beyond the good and bad. I am focused on the experience and what is has to teach me. I understand why my mother cried in silence. She cried in silence, with a gentle smile, and soft white light energy surrounding her. She cried in gratitude and in awe of Spirit's blessings. Then suddenly she would just start yelling Thank You! Gracias! Dios Mio Gracias! and continue doing whatever she was doing. She was filled with gratitude no matter how hard things got... her gratitude shined and made her glow.
Lately, I have had many of these moments. I have had moments of pure overwhelming gratitude. I have been taking more time to sit with myself and take inventory of my life in all areas. I zoom into one area at time and take inventory of all the experiences. I reevaluate how and where I spend my time and with whom. I take inventory of my finances and making sure I am a good steward over them. This requires being real with myself and cutting things out if necessary. I also take inventory of my physical and mental health. Addressing areas that need clearing and healing and finally I take inventory of my heart. I go deep into the corners of my heart and take inventory of absolutely everything all while giving thanks. I examine my heart space deeply and allow the emotions to flow. I welcome love into my heart, mind, and body. I allow Spirit to fill me up with divine, wise, loving light energy until I burst with tears of gratitude. I am grateful for those moments because that is when I truly feel most connected with my spiritual team and our creator.